I Deleted the App. Then I Came Back. Here’s What Changed

If you are reading this, you must be one of those who uninstalled a dating app because it feels overwhelming, but then reinstalled it again because how else can you find your jodoh, right?

No shame in uninstalling an app and then reinstalling it. The feeling of disappointment and overwhelm is fairly valid. But this is something for you to ponder before continuing to read this article. Deleting a date-to-marriage app like Muzz doesn’t just solve your singlehood, right? There was a drive, a reason why you installed Muzz in the first place. Deleting an app and not proactively doing anything isn’t gonna fix the issue you faced previously.

You still end up complaining about being single, just that this time, you have Muzz to blame – a “boring” or “place for unserious people”. Take this for someone in their 30s, where I got fed up with Muzz, blamed everyone on the app, uninstalled it, and then realised that I have been doing everything wrong. Now, alhamdulillah, I met my husband on Muzz. These are all the things that I did in the gap from uninstalling to reinstalling the app.

💬 I start asking the makcik & anne, “How was your day?”

That must sound counterintuitive to you, but I promise, stay with me till the end. We Malaysians berpisah tiada with our coffee. Either a pre-ordered coffee from Zus Coffee, Kenangan Coffee, or kopi o ais from your favorite mamak or makcik jual nasi lemak. You and I, we are so eager for what’s next. Once you wake up, next is to get ready. Check wether the traffic or MRT/LRT is working or not. Rush out of the house. Singgah to grab breakfast. Then finally reach office – and the list goes on. Do you notice that we actually don’t talk… to anyone we don’t know? The makcik, the barista, the anne, we just tell what we want, and we move on.

Do you realise that all great couples out there start from being a…stranger? How does that happen, if you ask? It all started with the most awkward yet simple question, “How was your day?” or “Dah makan ke tu?”.

Yes, those micro interactions that opened a door to a whole new world. This micro interaction is a skill that we are slowly losing. I noticed that I feel irritated or bored when someone initiates a small conversation, when the fact is that all great couples out there started with a micro interaction. I used every single opportunity in real-life experience to ask small questions, create micro interactions, even when it is awkward, because I need to reshape my brain on how I view micro interactions. You see where this is going? Now, let’s move to the next one.

🎾 I subscribe to Pickleball sessions once a week

Since pickleball was a trend in Malaysia, I decided to join, especially after I uninstalled Muzz. I joined pickleball thinking that it would be a dainty and pretty sport. Turns out, I sweat more than in tennis! I needed to train, understand its rules, and above all, know how to swing my paddle correctly.

By the third week, my body was aching. I am a career woman, so I spend long hours at work. After a long day, all I need to do is sleep and call it a day. But this time around, I can’t do that. I probably skipped a couple of sessions, but I make sure I drag myself to the court once a week. The result? I actually can allocate my time for pickleball. It became natural to my routine. I don’t see the need to drag myself, as it feels natural. So, what does this have to do with Muzz?

The pickleball, which I had to drag myself to, turned out to be easy – that was me training myself to take action and stick to the promise I have for myself. I get it, one boring interaction will feel demotivating and feels that you are wasting your time there. But he is not the only one there, right? I knew that I needed to commit at least 15 mins – 30 mins a day scrolling through Muzz and liking any profiles that I like. I gave each profile 2-3 days before deciding whether I would like to continue the conversation or not. Out of all the apps, Muzz is the one and only app that gives users full authority to control whom they can chat/talk with. I know I need to take action, and I also have the control to filter out anyone that I dislike.

🤲🏻 Finally, Kun Faya Kun

Be, and it becomes. Jodoh, ajal, kiamat – these are all the things that will happen when Allah says it. We as humans, being in the state of the unknown, just feel overwhelmed and defeated. We are always in a state of “so what’s next?” As humans, we need to let go of the outcome and just focus on becoming. 

I let go of the mindset “is he the one for me?” and instead, fixed myself. The time I wasn’t on Muzz was used to improve myself in becoming a better Muslimin. Trust is being placed in Allah with the certainty that He will send me the right one while I focus on becoming His’ right one

Alhamdulillah, I am now one of those 800k couples who Met on Muzz. I am pretty sure everyone who met their spouse on Muzz had to go through internal conflicts, awkward questions, and periods of uncertainty before they decided on marriage. If we can, Insyallah, you who are reading this can too.