The Five Love Languages, From A Muslim Lens

In Islam, love is a central and multifaceted concept, encompassing love for God, love for humanity, and love within relationships.

The Quran states: “He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them” (Quran 30:21).

Some couples may love each other,  but still struggle to find comfort in each other simply because they don’t know each other’s love languages.

Gary Chapman developed the concept of love languages, and in his book, he explains that “different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. By learning to recognise these preferences in yourself and in your loved ones, you can learn to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and truly begin to grow closer”. 

The five love languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Physical Touch 

Words of Affirmations

This love language is all about spoken or written words of love, appreciation, encouragement, or praise. People who value this feel loved when they hear things like: “I love you”, “You mean a lot to me”, “You can do this” and “I’m so proud of you”. 

• The Prophet (ﷺ) never used bad language, neither a “Fahish nor a Mutafahish”. He used to say, “The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3559). 
• The Prophet (ﷺ) was once asked, “Which person is most beloved to you?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Aisha” (RA). He was then asked among men. The Prophet said (ﷺ), “Her father” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3662). 
• The Prophet was also heard saying, “Khadija (RA) is the best amongst the women of her nation” (Sahih al-Bukhari 3432). 

Quality Time

This is about giving someone your undivided attention. It means spending meaningful time together, whether that’s talking without distractions, going for a walk, or doing an activity you both enjoy. What matters most is being fully present.

• Aisha (RA) said, “The Prophet (ﷺ) used to lean on my lap and recite Qur’an while I was in menses” (Sahih al-Bukhari 297).
• Aisha (RA) reported she was with the Prophet (ﷺ) while on a journey. She said, “I raced him on foot and I outran him, but when I gained some weight, I raced him again and he outran me.” The Prophet said, “This is for that race”(Sunan Abi Dawud 2578).

Acts of Service 

Actions speak louder than words here. Doing helpful or thoughtful things, such as cooking a meal, running an errand, or helping with something they’re struggling with, makes this person feel loved and cared for.

• The Prophet once said (ﷺ), “The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character among them. And the best of you are those who are best to your women” (Sahih al-Bukhari 297).
• Aisha (RA) was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do at home?” She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family, and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6039).

Receiving Gifts

This isn’t about materialism, but about the thought and effort behind the gift. A meaningful present, big or small, shows that someone was thinking of you, understands you and knows you.

• The Prophet (ﷺ) once said, “O Muslim women! None of you should look down upon the gift sent by her female neighbour even if it were the trotters of the sheep (fleshless part of legs)” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2566).
• It was said, “It was the character of the Prophet (ﷺ) to live in a beautiful manner with his wives, being cheerful and kind to them, generously spending on them, and laughing with them” (Tafsīr Ibn Kathīr 4:19)
• It was also said, “When the Prophet (ﷺ) was given something, he would say […] Go to such person, for they were a friend of Khadijah. Go to the house of such person, for they were loved by Khadijah” (al-Adab al-Mufrad 225).

Physical Touch 

For those who value this, simple gestures like holding hands and hugging can create a deep sense of love, comfort and closeness. 

• Aisha (RA) once said, “When anyone amongst us (amongst the wives of the Holy Prophet) menstruated, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked her to tie a waist-wrapper over her (body) and then embraced her” (Sahih Muslim 293a).
• She narrated, “I would drink when I was menstruating, then I would hand it (the vessel) to the Apostle (ﷺ) and he would put his mouth where mine had been, and drink” (Sahih Muslim 300).
• Aisha (RA) mentioned, “I and Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) used to take a bath from a single water container, from which we took water simultaneously” (Sahih al-Bukhari 272, 273).
• She recalled, “The Prophet (ﷺ) kissed one of his wives and went out to pray (salah). He did not perform ablution”.Urwah said to her, “Who is she except you!” Thereupon she laughed (Sunan Abi Dawud 179).

So, what’s your love language? Do you know your spouse’s love languages, or are you willing to learn your future spouse’s? Maybe you fall under all of them? Either way, the five love languages and examples from the Prophet (ﷺ) should help you find comfort in your spouse, or future spouse, inshaAllah.

Article Written by Saarah Miah, MA Journalism Student and Freelance Journalist