Dear Muzz: I Have A Phone Phobia
May 16, 2023
The agony aunties are back to answer more of your pressing questions!
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and Muzz, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On Muzz has, you guessed it, actually found love on Muzz. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
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Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
This is my first question:
How to deal with voice call or video call nerves? For example, maybe you're not an excellent conversationalist and more into texting? Or don't know what to talk about? And in short, you've got phone phobia and just anxious tbh?
Kissed A Few Frogs Says:
So I mean, these days, who even talks on the phone. You know that moment when someone calls and you literally just stare at the phone until they stop and then text them saying ‘omg I’m so sorry I missed your call, whats up?’. Yeah that’s me. Unfortunately we’ve all become a bit calling anxious because we’ve just never had to make that effort really since texting is just so much easier. But when you’re getting to know someone romantically, calling is definitely the way forward. There’s so much you can learn from hearing someone speak and how they talk to you. It saves you the time of meeting up with them if they’re just not the one.
With that being said though, I know it can be hard to think of conversation topics or be so worried you won’t know what to say that your mind just goes blank. My top tip is that you should always focus on what the other person is saying, and really just listen. We’re often so worried about what we’re gonna say next, that we forget to actually take in what the other person is saying. Not only is that rude, but it also just makes your life harder when trying to think of what to say next.
If you’re still nervous about calling, then send a Voice Note! They’re super easy, you can still get a feel of the other person without all the pressure of calling. And then once you feel more comfortable you can move to the next level. Remember, as with most things in life, practice makes perfect!
Good luck x
Found Love On Muzz Says:
Actually, you’re definitely not alone there. Speaking from experience, I used to have a crazy phone phobia! Literally just the thought of dialling up a number would give me crazy butterflies and stomach cramps. And do you know how I got over it? By calling people.
The problem is texting has made things so easy for us now, but it won’t allow you to get over your fear of phone calls. If you stay texting you’re never going to develop the confidence to speak over the phone. Anxiety is normal, we all feel that emotion, but my advice to you would be to try and call rather than text. Maybe practice with some friends first, pretend they’re someone you’re interested in and just talk to them.
Then with your matches, start suggesting calls rather than texts. If you’re the one to initiate the call it may make you feel more confident and in control. It may be awkward the first few times. But so what? It takes practice to get good at anything, phone calls included.
What worked for me was taking a few deep breaths before the call and giving myself a pep talk. Telling myself that I could do it really helped. Perhaps you could give that a try as well. Maybe even read the Fatiha and Ayat Al-Kursi. In terms of worrying about what to say, don’t. If you’ve been able to talk through text then why would it be any different through phone?
One final thing to remember: the person on the other side may be just as nervous as you, so really don’t over think things or worry… it may take a few tries to get confident, but you will get there!
Best of Luck x
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