Dear Muzz: Blocked Because Of My Past.
May 15, 2023
It's finally here! The agony aunt you never knew you needed 😉
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and Muzz, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On Muzz has, you guessed it, actually found love on Muzz. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
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Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
So I matched with this woman on Muzz. Then she told me all of her requirements, what she looks for in a good husband etc. We matched almost 100%. She prays 5 times a day, has respect for elders, and would support a husband in every way. After talking for 5 days everything was going well.
Last night I became a bit sad out of fear that she is so good that if I lost her it would be a big loss for me. I was thanking Allah for having her in my life, and asking Allah for guidance. Last night I wanted to tell her about my past but on msg. Instead she asked me to tell over the phone. But I was a bit shy so I didn’t tell her on the phone. After the phone call, she blocked me. Without considering I was nice to her. Without considering that I matched all her criteria. Now I can’t get over it.
I can’t move forward and continue to use this app to find the right partner. I have matched with a bunch of girls but they don’t bother to reply or they’ll just leave a message out of courtesy. Some of them I find difficult to connect with emotionally. I think it’s rare to find someone with the same personality on this earth. When I think I’ve found them, they think I am a weirdo. I will try to get over it by praying namaz, and making duas. It’s a good platform but why do people behave like this? :’(
Kissed A Few Frog Replies:
I’d say you’ve definitely dodged a bullet there. If she couldn’t handle what’s happened in your past, whatever that may be, then she wasn’t the one for you. She wouldn’t have ‘supported her husband in every way’ as she said to you. We’ve all done things we may not be proud of, or things that we repent. But we are all humans at the end of the day, and what’s happened is simply between you and Allah.
One day, you’ll find someone who accepts you for you and loves you for your past because it’s made you who you are today. Don’t forget that.
Good luck in your search x
Found Love On Muzz Replies:
This is very upsetting to hear, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way at the moment. But here is some of my advice to you:
When it comes to talking about the past, you don’t have to bring up anything you don’t want to, especially if it’s shameful or a sin. Our sins stay between us and Allah, they don’t involve anyone else. This is one of the many beautiful things of Islam. Don’t ever feel pressured into talking about it with anyone, or disclosing information you don’t need to.
Second of all, please don’t lose hope! Right now it sounds like you're still hurt and this may be affecting the way you talk with the other girls. From my own experience, when it didn't work out between me and this one guy (let's call him experiment 626) , I compared all the other guys I spoke to with him. I would always think we didn't connect as well as experiment 626 and I did, and not give them a chance. This could be happening with you too.
Rather than assuming you're too different or incompatible with the other girls, give them a chance, get to know them, and let them get to know you. And if they really can’t handle the weirdness, that’s Allah’s way of saving you from someone that you wouldn't have been happy with.
Lastly, be confident in yourself. Even if these girls block you, or swipe left, who cares? You said that if you lost the girl, it would be a big loss for you. You can’t think like that, you have to think that it’s a loss for her. Believe in yourself, and always remember that rejection is just redirection (to the right person for you) x
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