What To Do When You and Your Friend Are Talking to the Same Guy?
August 8, 2022
After Ramadan last year me and my girls made a bit of a pact to become a bit more pro-active on the partner search. So we made a pact to join Muzz (although I outdid them and joined every app possible)!\I’ve always been the outgoing one but my friends needed to be pushed outside their comfort zone.
Although we’re all still single, there have been a lot of funny situations we ended up getting ourselves into. When you are searching for a partner, there are a limited number of potentials. What often happens is you end up coming across the same old faces, across variety of different services (online+offline). It makes you realise that your pool is very small so naturally if you and your friends are searching at the same time you’ll end up talking to the same guys. This could potentially be messy but me and my friend have worked out nice little hacks to avoid losing any friendship over some guy.
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1. Do not let them know they are talking to two friends.
In the first week me and my friend matched with Mr GG. Mr GG worked in the same industry as me so my friend started talking about me to him and where I work. The guy realised he was talking to two best friends and basically freaked out. So don’t talk to him about your friend and avoid having pictures on your profile with friends that are using the same service as you. Guys get freaked out. It’s best he doesn’t know!
2. Check in with you best friend about who she has matched with and who she is talking too.
Me and my friend always do this. At first we used to simply just send screenshots but now due to privacy settings we just exchange usernames to double check we ain’t getting “close” to the same guy. If my friend was talking to a guy more so than me then I’d take a step back and let her do her thing and vice versa. A male friend of mine recently had two best friends argue with each other because they were both talking to him and one even sent a screenshot of the argument to the guy! The guy lost interest fast in both girls. If you can’t be loyal to your friends how to expect him to think you will be loyal to him? Ladies, no guy is worth losing a lifetime friendship over. Be classy.
3. Don’t be afraid to introduce a “failed” potential to a friend who might be a better match.
Earlier on this year my friend matched with Mr B and was speaking to him. As I knew she was speaking to him I swiped no to him. My friend went abroad and the conversation fizzled out with Mr B. I came across Mr B on another app and swiped right as I knew my friend wasn’t talking to him at that time. Me and Mr B worked near each other and my friend was okay with me meeting him. I met Mr B. Though he was a nice guy, nothing came of it. I then told my friend that she should make convo with Mr B again as he was really nice. So she striked up a conversation with him too and ALSO met him. Although again nothing came out of it and the guy has no idea he has met two best friends. I had no attachment with him to actually be like to my friend maybe you should see if there is a spark. If more people were open to introducing other people to others maybe we would not all be single?! Just think about it. You met a guy once, nothing came of it but you might know someone who is a better match for him. Why not just make an introduction? There are no feelings or attachments at this stage so why not help someone find love? One day it will come back and find you too!
I encourage you to grab your single friend and get pro-active on the partner search . Do it together so you can support each other, have fun with it, and be open to possibility.
May 2016 be the year we find love inshallah.
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