Finding The One In 2021: The 5 Golden Rules
January 2, 2021
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that life is short and our time is valuable. So let’s stop wasting it with prolonged talking stages and fears of commitment, and really try to find the one in 2021!
Here are our 5 Golden Rules to make sure you find the real deal this new year:
1) Make your intentions clear from the start
There’s nothing worse than speaking to someone for months and being strung along only to realise they’re not actually ready for marriage, and actually they never intend to get married. The easiest way to overcome this is to state your intentions right from the start, and find out theirs.
It’s 2021, we’re not wasting anymore time over people who don’t tell us what they want.
2) Ask serious questions to establish whether they’re serious
No, this doesn’t include “what’s your favourite colour?” which seems to be everyone's favourite talking stage question. We mean ask the serious and deep questions that help you gauge an image of what that person is looking for in a spouse, and what that would mean for you.
Here are some examples:
Why are you on this app?
When do you want to get married?
What is your expectation of a wife/ husband? what would you expect them to do?
Do you want to have children? when?
What’s your family like?
If you’re looking for something serious, you need to ask serious questions. And if a person doesn’t want to answer your questions...well, you have to wonder whether they’re actually serious about marriage or not!
3) Actions speak louder than words
Sometimes a person can say all the things we want to hear, but not actually act on it. They may say they’re serious about marriage, but never actually make any moves towards getting to know you for marriage.
It’s 2021, after the year we’ve had we don’t have any more time for time wasters, it’s all about ACTIONS!
If they say they’ll introduce you to your parents but always find an excuse not to, you need to really evaluate what you’re getting out of this, which leads me to my next point…
4) Don’t spend months on a person if you’re not getting anything back
You may really like someone, but if they’re not trying to make the relationship serious and introduce you to the parents, if they’re not putting in any effort, move on.
Seriously, you need to put yourself first. Don’t wait around for someone thinking they’ll change or they’ll start to put effort in when you haven’t seen any signs of them doing so. It’s difficult, but you need to get them out of your head.
5) If you spot red flags, RUN!
Honestly, always, always, always trust your instincts because they’re probably right.
If you spot red flags over anything, it can be something small- ask them about it (we should give someone the benefit of the doubt and allow them to defend themselves before jumping to assumptions).
If they refuse to answer your question, or if they answer but you still feel unsatisfied and worried, move on. You can’t build a relationship without trust, it’s one of the key building blocks of a marriage. If you’re always going to second guess someone, you already know it’s a recipe for disaster!
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that our time is precious. Hop on to muzmatch and follow these tips to find the one in 2021!
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