relationships
Love Languages: The Secret to a Stronger Muslim Relationship
July 18, 2024
What’s your love language? If you’re not familiar with love languages, you’re in the right place! We’ll explain what they are so you can discover yours.
Dr. Gary Chapman came up with the “Five Love Languages” to help couples connect and communicate better. Understanding your partner’s love language is key to knowing their needs and wants.
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So, ready to find out? The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Let’s figure out which one speaks to you!
Related content: Islam: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Table of contents
Why the Love Languages Are Important
Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation is about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. Do compliments make your day? Does a simple “You did great!” give you a boost? If hearing praise and sweet words makes you feel appreciated and loved, then this might be your love language. It’s all about those little verbal pick-me-ups that make you feel special. If this sounds like you, words of affirmation could be your love language!
Example of Words of Affirmation
Fatima and Ahmad have been married for five years. Ahmad’s love language is Words of Affirmation, while Fatima’s is Acts of Service. Fatima started complimenting Ahmad more, reminding him of the hadith about being good to your family. She’d tell him things like, “You’re amazing for how you take care of us.” Ahmad loved hearing these affirmations and felt more connected. In return, he helped out more around the house, which is how Fatima feels loved. They found a great balance by understanding each other’s love languages.
Quality Time
Quality time is all about feeling loved when someone gives you their undivided attention and you share meaningful moments together. It’s not just about being in the same room while you both scroll through TikTok – it’s about truly connecting and being present with each other.
Imagine doing your favourite activities together, like going for a walk in the park, taking a cooking class, or even working out side by side. These shared experiences create special memories and deepen your bond. When someone sets aside time just for you, focusing on enjoying each other’s company, it shows they truly care.
Example of Quality Time
Ayesha and Ibrahim are always busy with work. Ayesha’s love language is Quality Time, while Ibrahim’s is Physical Touch. They decided to spend more time together doing things they both enjoy, like reading the Quran or going for a walk after Fajr prayer.
These moments without distractions really helped them reconnect. Ibrahim also made sure to show physical affection, like holding hands or giving Ayesha a hug, which made their time together even more special.
Physical Touch
For someone whose love language is physical touch, they feel loved through physical affection. We don’t mean just about being intimate as a married couple, but also about small gestures like holding hands while walking or sitting close together while watching a movie. Physical touch is about feeling most loved when physically interacting with their partner. If you feel a deep connection and affection through physical closeness and gestures, physical touch might be your love language!
Example of Physical Touch
Zainab and Omar have been married for two years. Omar’s love language is Physical Touch, while Zainab’s is Receiving Gifts. Zainab made sure to show her love through physical affection which made Omar feel secure and loved. Omar, in turn, started surprising Zainab with small gifts like her favourite perfume or a special dessert. These simple gestures made them feel more connected and appreciated.
Act of Service
Acts of Service is all about doing nice things for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated. For instance, when you come home tired from work and find that your partner has taken care of all the household chores so you can relax. Or when they offer to do the grocery shopping because they know you’ve had a busy day.
These little gestures can mean a lot to someone whose love language is acts of service. If you feel most loved when your partner helps you out and makes your life easier, acts of service might be your love language!
Example of Act of Service
Mariam and Ali have been married for seven years. Mariam’s love language is Acts of Service, while Ali is Quality Time. Ali started helping more with household chores, inspired by the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) example. He also spent more quality time with their kids, which made Mariam feel loved and supported.
In return, Mariam made sure to spend quality time with Ali, planning family outings or quiet evenings at home. By understanding each other’s needs, their relationship grew even stronger.
Receiving Gifts
For someone whose love language is receiving gifts, presents are more than just material things—they symbolize love, care, and thoughtfulness. It’s about feeling cherished when your partner takes time to think about you and gets you something special. It could be as simple as your favourite chocolates to satisfy your cravings or a meaningful gift that shows they’ve been listening and paying attention.
For instance, if a wife tells her husband she wants to read the Quran but finds it difficult in Arabic, and the next day he surprises her with a transliteration version, it shows he not only supports her goals but also truly cares about her. Gifts like these make someone whose love language is receiving gifts feel loved and appreciated.
Example of Receiving Gifts
Let’s dive into another scenario for receiving gifts: Noor and Bilal have been married for three years. Bilal loves Receiving Gifts, while Noor values Words of Affirmation. Noor started giving Bilal thoughtful gifts like a beautiful prayer mat. Bilal appreciated the effort and felt more loved. He also made sure to express his love through words, often telling Noor how much he valued her and the gifts. These little gestures made their bond stronger.
Why the Love Languages Are Important
Understanding and speaking your partner’s love language can really transform your relationship. When you know what makes your partner feel loved, you can avoid misunderstandings and resolve conflicts more easily.
Conclusion
Understanding the Five Love Languages can really help you and your partner connect on a deeper level. When you know how each of you prefers to give and receive love, you can make sure you’re meeting each other’s emotional needs. Take some time to explore these love languages together – it’s like uncovering the secret code to a stronger and more fulfilling relationship!
Using the Five Love Languages takes a bit of effort, communication, and a genuine desire to understand and support each other. By mixing these love languages with our Islamic values, we can build even stronger and more loving relationships. You’ll experience a deeper sense of closeness and mutual appreciation, knowing that you’re both loved in the ways that mean the most.
