Where Muslims meet

Too many men are falling for the wrong women because they don’t know what the red flags to spot early on are, we’re here to help stop you from getting played!

Even though religious commitment is important, practical compatibility matters too. This article shares the three red flags that Muslim men should look out for.

Don’t feel like reading? Watch this video ⬇️

Red Flag #1: She Doesn’t Have a Life Outside of You

In Islam marriage is a union of two complete individuals who complement each other, not two incomplete halves searching for wholeness. The Quran describes spouses as “garments” for one another (2:187)—distinct entities that provide protection, comfort, and beauty.

A woman without interests, pursuits, and relationships outside the marriage often exhibits:

Over-dependence: Creating an unhealthy emotional burden on her husband, she expects you to be 100% of her life and when you are busy she doesn’t have anything else to fill her time. It can create an unhealthy pattern of co-dependence and one where she expects more from you, than one person can give Identity void: If she has no friends, no interests, no hobbies, no job, her only identity will be being your wife. This can cause a multitude of issues, if you are her entire life then any independence you may want will shatter her, or any small issues your marriage might face can become huge and blown up because they are the only dimension in her life Unhealthy attachment: Potentially bordering on emotional shirk (associating partners with Allah in fulfilling needs), if you are the only person bringing any fulfillment to her life she may begin to idolise you in a way that only Allah should be. The Prophetic Example

The women of the Quran’s existence didn’t revolve around husbands, or finding them. The women around the Prophet (pbuh) maintained rich, multifaceted lives:

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her): Pursued knowledge, taught others, and participated in community affairs Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her): Managed business interests and maintained social connections Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her): Raised children and offered wise counsel to the community Red Flag #2: She Is Always Cancelling Last Minute

During the courting period when you are trying to find out if you will be compatible for marriage, pay attention to how reliable she is. Sure, sometimes things come up, but if she is always cancelling last minute it can be a red flag as it shows:

Disregard for commitments: she doesn’t take her word seriously, if she can’t even keep a commitment to a plan how can you expect her to commit to bigger responsibilities? Questionable priorities: when someone is a priority you make time, if she is constantly running out of time to see you then you simply aren’t important enough for her to cancel on someone else She might be playing the field: constant cancellations can also be an indicator that she is juggling multiple matches, and you may not be the front-runner

Trustworthiness (amanah) and commitment to promises are fundamental Islamic values. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is trusted, he betrays the trust.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Red Flag #3: She Doesn’t Share Your Long-Term Values

The Quran emphasises compatibility: “Corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men for corrupt women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women.” (24:26)

While this verse primarily addresses moral and religious compatibility, practical alignment on life values creates the foundation for implementing shared faith principles and a happy, long-lasting marriage. These are some examples of areas in which you should share the same values:

Understanding of Gender Roles

Islam outlines general principles regarding family leadership and responsibilities, but how these manifest varies widely. Crucial questions include:

Does she understand and accept the concept of qiwamah (male guardianship) while recognizing its proper, balanced implementation? Does she value the complementary nature of spousal roles? Are her expectations about domestic responsibilities compatible with yours? Views on Children and Family Planning

The Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraged marrying women who are loving and fertile. Consider:

Does she share your desire for children? Do you align on approaches to Islamic parenting? Are your timelines for family planning compatible? Do you agree on the number of children you hope to have? Career and Financial Values

Islam respects a woman’s right to work while prioritising family wellbeing, however some women might be super career-driven, while others won’t want to work at all. Make sure you’re aligned on:

How she wants to balance career ambitions with family priorities? Do her financial values align with Islamic principles? Are her expectations about lifestyle and material comfort compatible with what you can provide? Religious Practice and Growth

Beyond basic religious commitment, consider:

Do you share the same madhab (school of thought) or can you respect differences? Do you align on religious priorities for your home and family? Do you have compatible views on religious education for children? The Danger of Compromise on Core Values

Many men make the mistake of believing:

That differences in fundamental values are minor That they can sway a woman into changing her position on certain topics after marriage; not only is this unlikely to happen but it is unfair on the woman to put this type of pressure of her if her views/position are clear That love will make incompatibilities irrelevant; love can carry your marriage through smaller issues you may face but not fundamental differences

Islamic wisdom teaches us that these assumptions often lead to significant problems within a marriage, it is so important to make sure you’re aligned before getting married.

Is it a red flag or am I being judgemental?

While it is important to look out for red flags, it is also important to use discernment and understand that situations are nuanced. Some things aren’t black and white so make sure you have the full scope of a situation and don’t blindy apply any advice you see online.

“Am I too old to get married?”

“What will my parents think?”

“How do I know if I’m choosing the right person?”

“Is using a marriage app even halal?”

These are all questions single Muslims have likely asked themselves during their marriage search. And honestly, they’re valid. The pressure to get married can feel overwhelming due to community perception, cultural norms, or the internal fear of picking the wrong person. While marriage is often seen as the end goal or even a requirement of our deen, the reality is that the journey towards it can come with a lot of stress, self doubt, and anxiety.

At Muzz, we wanted to have a real, honest conversation about what the marriage search actually looks like for Muslims today. So we sat down with Imam Suhaib Webb to dive into these complexities – from navigating societal expectations to figuring out if apps like Muzz are a valid option Islamically. Imam Webb guides us on how to approach marriage with faith, wisdom, and a little less pressure.

Is marriage really half our deen?

The night Imam Webb became Muslim in 1992, a Muslim brother approached him saying he had a cousin overseas that he wanted him to marry. Despite being a new Muslim, and not to mention very young, oftentimes Muslim quote the statement “marriage is half of your religion” to emphasize the importance of marriage, despite your age or status.

Imam Webb says the implication of this statement would be “if you’re not married, you have a 50% grade. You’re not even passing”. But was this statement actually made by the Prophet ﷺ? Imam Webb offers some clarity on the authenticity and implication of this statement. 

“When all the research is brought together, it becomes very clear that the Prophet ﷺ did not say this, but in fact one of the early Muslims coined this statement that marriage is half a person’s religion, so let them fear Allah for the other half”.

Imam Webb emphasizes that while marriage is indeed a sunnah, it does not comprise our intrinsic value as Muslims. The pressure put on Muslims to get married can then be counterproductive. “In a means to achieve something good, the pressure causes people to make a bad decision”.

Are marriage apps haram?

Despite their growing popularity, Muslim marriage apps are still seen as a controversial or taboo method for Muslims to get married. On one hand, the permissibility of using apps like Muzz is often questioned. On the other hand, cultural norms would prefer Muslims to get married to a family friend or a known member of the community.

Imam Webb discusses the stigma around marriage apps, and how they can actually be a very important tool for the modern day Muslim. 

“We see the companions of the Prophet ﷺ using all types of means to get married in their lifetime”. Imam Webb reminds us that just because a tool for marriage (marriage apps) did not exist at the time of the Prophet and the Sahaba, does not automatically make their use haram. 

We are reminded that as Muslims, we must always have good suspicion of our fellow Muslims. If we quickly assume Muslims are using marriage apps for haram reasons, it is not a surprise that the reputation of the app itself becomes haram. 

At Muzz, we always remind our users that if you are seeking haram, then haram is what you will find. We encourage our users to use the app with clear intentions, good suspicion of others, and an overall commitment to keeping the platform halal. With chaperone features, screenshot protection, and private photo options, we are committed to creating a safe, halal space for Muslims of all backgrounds and ages to find their spouses.

Imam Webb makes an important point that “for some of us [who had embraced Islam], we don’t have aunties and uncles, we don’t have the social structure for people to go around and help us find good spouses – so these apps become incredibly important for us to find righteous, religious spouses”. 

What are some etiquettes to keep in mind when using Muzz? 

Any act of worship in Islam, including the sunnah of getting married, comes with adab (etiquette). On top of all of the other factors to consider when looking for a spouse, it is important to remind ourselves of the etiquettes we should be following during our search – especially when using Muzz. 

“Number one,” states Imam Webb “catfishing is haram. The Prophet ﷺ said ‘who cheats us is not from us’”. Catfishing is a form of deceit and trickery, and is an instant red flag when getting to know someone. 

“Don’t you want to marry the person you can be authentically yourself with?”

“Number two – we’re not allowed to ask about past skeletons in the closet. The Prophet ﷺ said that ‘all of my ummah is forgiven except for those who reveal what Allah has hidden’ – meaning sins”. 

Imam Webb clarifies that the only time we are required to reveal our past sins is if it will impact the marriage physically, financially, or psychologically. If you are feeling insecure regarding the past of the person you’re marrying, you have to ask yourself: “are you marrying their past or marrying them?”

The third etiquette Muslims should follow is to monitor the sources of how you imagine marriage. Make sure you can answer the following questions and align with your future partner on your answers: 

What makes you feel valued?  How do you export value to other people?  What are your negotiables and non-negotiables with religion, life, finances, in-laws, children, etc?

“When you’re able to answer these questions successfully, Inshallah ta’ala Allah will bless you and Inshallah you will be an incredible spouse”. 

Should you marry someone you argue with?

Imam Webb says, “marry the person you can argue with”. 

Marriage is not always a fairytale, and often times can be far from perfect. When imagining what your marriage will look like in the future, you have to be realistic and acknowledge that not every day will be easy. 

“Not only do you want to imagine how life will look good together, but also how life will look bad together”. Navigating difficult times and hardships as a couple is truly the essence of marriage. Being able to challenge each other and overcome those challenges not only strengthens your marriage, but provides a sense of security that you choose to love each other even when you are at odds. 

Allah SWT tell us هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ (your spouses are like garments [clothing] for you, and you are like garments for them). 

Just like clothing, spouses should protect each other, cover each other’s flaws, bring each other comfort, and remain close to one another. 

At the end of the day, marriage is a journey that requires intention, patience, and faith, not pressure or perfection. With the right mindset and tools, Inshallah, every Muslim can navigate this path in a way that honors both their deen and their well-being.

Want to hear it straight from Imam Webb? Watch the full conversation on our YouTube channel.

History of Hajj and the First Pilgrimage:

Every year in the final month of the Islamic calendar, Dhul Al-Hijjah millions of muslims from around the globe embark on the Hajj pilgrimage. A pillar of islam, that is obligatory on financially capable muslims who are physically and mentally fit.The rituals of Hajj date back to around 4000 years ago, when Prophet Ibrahim AS was ordered by Allah SWT to leave his wife, Hajera (Hager) and infant son, Ismail in the desert; that would later come to be known as Makkah. The act of running between Safa and Marwa is replicating Hajera RA when she ran between the hills, looking for water for her son. It was then, when Angel Gibrael AS appeared and the spring of zamzam burst forth from the ground. The availability of water led to civilization there and eventually when Ibrahim AS was ordered to return to his family, Ibrahim AS and Ismail As to reconstruct the Kaaba and establish it as a place solely for the worship of Allah (SWT). This event is mentioned in the Quran as follows:And ˹remember˺ when Abraham raised the foundation of the House with Ishmael, ˹both praying,˺ “Our Lord! Accept ˹this˺ from us. You are indeed the All-Hearing, All-Knowing. (Quran 2:127)However, over time the Kaaba lost its monotheistic purity, and became a place of idol worship and polytheistic religious practice. In the year 630 AD, the prophet led his followers from Medina to Mecca, destroying the idols and re-dedicating the site to the worship of the one God. Two years later, he performed the first ever Islamic pilgrimage, laying out to his followers the rituals of the Hajj.  

Maximize your Reward: 10 best days of Dhul Al-Hijjah

One may not be able to embark on Hajj, but can still reap multiple benefits during the Holy month of Dhul Al-Hijjah.“There are no days during which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than these days,” meaning the (first) ten days of Dhul- Hijjah. They said: “O Messenger of Allah! Not even Jihad in the cause of Allah?” He said: “Not even Jihad in the cause of Allah, unless a man goes out with himself and his wealth and does not bring anything back.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)These 10 days of Dhul Al-Hijjah, give Muslims a once-in-a-lifetime chance to redeem themselves and gain immense blessings and rewards. So, what can be done to gain maximum reward and forgiveness in these ten days?

Fasting: It is sunnah to fast the first nine days of Dhul Al-Hijjah as Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) used to fast during these days. Especially it is highly recommended to fast on the Day of Arafah(9th Dhul Al-Hijjah) as it is the most blessed day of the year. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, “It (fasting on the Day of ‘Arafah) expiates the sins of the past year and the coming year.” (Muslim) Quran: Reciting the Holy Quran in the sacred days of Dhul Hijjah is one of the best acts of worship that one can perform to seek the blessings of Allah SWT. Dhikr and Tahajjud: Increase your dhikr. In Makkah, the Talbiyah will be on every pilgrim’s tongue throughout the day and night; whilst every Muslim should praise and remember Allah constantly. Engage in worship in the last third of the night, remember Allah SWT is closest to the servant during this time. Ask Allah SWT for rizq, sustenance, good health, forgiveness and right guidance. Repent and give sadaqah: During these 10 days, repeatedly ask for forgiveness and also engage in voluntary acts of charity. Remember even the smallest acts such as a smile, or a helping hand, are seen as acts of sadaqah.

Types of Hajj:

There are three types of Hajj: Tamattu’, Ifrad and Qiran.

Al-Tamattu: In this mode, a person enters the state of Ihram for Umrah alone, saying, “Allahumma Labbaik ‘Umrah.” After completing the Umrah, they exit the state of Ihram. Later, when the time for Hajj arrives, they enter the state of Ihram for Hajj from Makkah, and as part of the Tamattu pilgrimage, they must offer a sacrifice. This is considered the easiest way. Al-Ifrad: In this mode, a person enters the state of Ihram for Hajj alone, saying, “Allahumma Labbaik Hajj.” They do not need to offer a sacrifice. Al-Qiran: This mode involves entering the state of Ihram for both Hajj and Umrah together, saying, “Allahumma Labbaik Hajj and ‘Umrah.” The Qiran pilgrim follows the same actions as the Ifrad pilgrim but must also offer a sacrifice. How to perform Hajj – Key steps in Hajj: Arrival in Makkah – The very first rite of Hajj is to make a pure intention and to enter ihram – when crossing the outer boundaries of Mecca, called Miqat. The pilgrims then set their intention for the type of Hajj they will be performing and accordingly perform Umrah. 8th Dhul Hijjah (Mina, the tent city) – After concluding tawaf and sai,  the pilgrims travel by foot on pilgrim paths or take a bus for the 8km (five-mile) journey to Mina, a tent city just outside of Makkah. The pilgrims spend the day in Mina, setting out the next morning at dawn for Mt.Arafat. Most of the time in Mina is spent in prayer, supplications and remembering Allah (God). 9th Dhul Hijjah (Day of Arafah) – During the second day of Hajj, 9th day of Dhu-al-Hijjah, pilgrims travel to Arafat from Mina reciting Istaghfar and making supplications. Upon reaching Mount Arafat, pilgrims observe Duhr and Asr combined with Qasar prayers near the Jabal al-Rahmah from noon to sunset. This act is known as Waquf (standing before Allah). Muzdalifah – Post sunset, pilgrims head to Muzadalifah (a town between Mina and Mt. Arafat) to observe the evening prayers and rest the night until Fajr prayers in preparation for the next day’s ritual of stoning the devil. Pilgrims also collect pebbles here for Rami (stoning of the jamarat – pillars). 10th Dhul Hijjah (Eid Day) – After performing Fajr Salah on the 10th of Dhul Hijjah you will depart Muzdalifah and go back towards Mina while continuously reciting the Talbiyah. On this day, Pilgrims perform the Hady Qurbani (sacrificial animal) and also commence the first of three days ’stoning of the devil’s rite or Rami. Shave/Trim Hair (Halq/Taqsir) – Men should get their head completely shaved, or get their hair clipped. While women are forbidden to shave their heads and only allowed to have a lock or strand of their hair clipped. Return to Makkah – Perform Tawaf Al Ifadah and Sai. 11th, 12th and 13th Dhul Al Hijjah – The stoning ritual is repeated by throwing pebbles at two other monuments other than Jamrat al Aqabah – Jamrat Oolah (the first Jamrat) and Jamrat Wustah (middle Jamrat). The pilgrim may leave for Makkah at the evening of Dhul Al Hijjah, but if he remains in Mina then the ritual of stoning must be performed on 13th Dhul Al Hijjah as well. Farewell Tawaf – The next and the final step is the farewell Tawaf (Tawaf al-Wida ), bringing an end to the hajj rituals. Required permits for Hajj:

The permits are available through the Nusuk platform. The Ministry of Interior, in partnership with SDAIA, launched the Tasreeh Platform to streamline Hajj permit issuance. Integrated with the Nusuk platform, it authorizes access to Makkah and the holy sites for pilgrims, workers, volunteers, and transport vehicles. It is imperative to hold a Hajj permit, or individuals risk severe penalties.

Preparing oneself for Hajj:

Hajj is a journey that requires more than just spiritual intention, it is tough on your body physically and mentally. To have a fulfilling Hajj, preparing oneself with ample resources and exercise, will help in completing it successfully. Below are some tips you can follow to prepare yourself for this once in a lifetime’s journey.

Physical Prep

Exercise: Hajj requires lots of physical strength and stamina. Engage yourself in exercise in months prior to Hajj! Go on walks daily and build your stamina.   Boost your immunity: Start eating healthy and practice habits that boost your immunity prior to Hajj. For example, taking honey daily, eating vegetables, dates, healthy fats like avocado, etc.  Preventive care: Carry medicine that suits you from your home country and other supplements such as cough drops, vitamin C, etc. Take medicine as soon as you feel sick, and seek medical help as soon as you can. Supplies: Make a specific list for the days of Hajj before you leave for Mina (i.e. stuff you will pack in your backpack) Take your ‘worship tools’ to use during the waiting time. A lot of times people find themselves without anything to do during the long stretches. Come prepared with a Quran, seerah (biography of the Prophet PBUH) book, or dhikr (remembrance/prayer) beads. Dua book: Having a small notebook with a few supplications as well dua you intend to make can be extremely helpful. This will help you meet your dua goals and ensure no dua is forgotten. 

Mental & Spiritual Prep

Know the requirements of performing Hajj: Familiarise yourself with the rites of Hajj to avoid any confusion and make  notes accordingly. It’s common to not know details, thus it’s important to seek knowledge before Hajj.   Build a Strategy: Lay down a plan on how you will spend your days and download the apps required to visit certain areas like rawdah in advance.  Surrender to Allah swt: Get in the right mindset by surrendering yourself to Allah (swt). You are going on Hajj, you will be tested in different ways so remind yourself to be patient and not to complain. You are invited as Allah’s guests so use the correct manners that a guest should have. As a bonus, try to catch yourself before reacting negatively to a test by acknowledging that what is making you upset is the test. Day of Arafah: Use the full day of Arafah for worship—not just the time after Asr (late afternoon prayer). Many people fall into this trap and spend time sitting, eating and talking on the most important day of Hajj and only start making dua after Asr.The Prophet ﷺ  used to make dua the entire day and intensified the supplication after Asr.  Ask Allah for help & Istighfar: Remember this is a journey of a lifetime, so set your intentions and ask Allah for help repeatedly – ask Allah for guidance, ease, hidayah, acceptance, good companionship and forgiveness! Lessons that can be drawn from Hajj for Marriage:

The journey of Hajj can actually prepare you for marriage, both instances hold many values that lay the foundation for a successful journey. 

Marriage, like Hajj, begins with intention and commitment. Just as every pilgrim begins their sacred journey with a sincere niyyah (intention) for the sake of Allah, a successful marriage is built on the foundation of honest, heartfelt commitment to one’s partner—also for the sake of pleasing Allah. When both partners dedicate themselves to this journey with clarity and sincerity, the union becomes not just a worldly arrangement, but a sacred act of worship.

Both Hajj and marriage require sacrifice and patience. The journey of Hajj is marked by physical and emotional trials—long walks, intense heat, crowded spaces—all of which cultivate sabr (patience) and humility. Similarly, marriage challenges individuals to sacrifice ego, prioritize their spouse’s needs, and invest in the relationship even when it’s difficult. True love in marriage grows not from taking, but from giving—time, effort, and compassion. 

Forgiveness and renewal are central to both journeys. Hajj offers believers a chance for spiritual cleansing, seeking Allah’s mercy and returning home renewed. In the same way, marriage is an ongoing process of renewal—of forgiving mistakes, healing wounds, and striving to improve together. Just as pilgrims return transformed, couples who approach their relationship with mercy and a willingness to grow can continuously rediscover peace and harmony. 

Overall, what Hajj requires is patience, tawakkal, and sincere intention –  a journey of a lifetime that should change you for lifetime and push you towards goodness. May Allah make it easy for all pilgrims and invite all muslims for this beautiful journey! Remember, even if you are not going for Hajj, there is ample reward to collect in the first ten day of Dhul Hijjah – don’t miss out! May Allah accept all our efforts!