Dear muzmatch: I Can't Find Love As A Single Mum
August 2, 2020
It's finally here! The agony aunt you never knew you needed 😉
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and muzmatch, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On muzmatch has, you guessed it, actually found love on muzmatch. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
Hi, I have been on muzmatch for some years now and still haven't found my match. I'm a single mother to my 7 year old daughter.
I'm finding I'm putting all my eggs in one basket ( as I feel it should be) I have spoken to one or 2 decent men, they come across as serious and wanting to settle down. I find I am serious and want to give it a go so take myself off the app but they don't do the same and still remain on the app with their location constantly changing, which shows to me they are still trying to find something better whilst still talking to me.
When I mention why they are still on the app and how do I know, I get called a psycho. So I don't mention this again but it continues, I get put off and quite frankly pissed off and unfortunately I can't hide how I feel and then things just don't work out. Now I don't know if I should just give up as this is happening a lot.
I find with dating apps men will still be out there looking for better.
I don't know what to do now apart from give up!
Kissed A Few Frogs Replies:
I’m sorry you haven’t had much luck yet on muzmatch or dating apps in general. But please don’t give up, your time will come! We’re blessed to receive thousands of messages from people who have found success on the app and gotten married. People who are in similar situations to you, who have been divorced, or have children from previous marriages and they all found their perfect match. Which they wouldn’t have, had they given up. You just have to keep faith in Allah and yourself.
The good thing about dating apps is that they allow anyone to try to find someone that fits them, whether that's for long term or short term. And although it helps give everyone a chance, it also means you have to sift through profiles of people whose intentions may not fit yours. So the men who get defensive when you ask why they’re still looking or are changing their locations, aren’t men who are looking for something long term. But there are people out there who are - just take a look at all our success stories!
Yeah it sucks to have to go through dates and guys who aren’t a good fit for you over and over again, but it’ll be so worth it once you finally find him. For every “no” you’re closer to that “yes.” Your future husband is waiting for you!
Found Love On muzmatch Replies:
Don’t give up!! I’m so sorry this keeps happening to you. It actually sucks. And what’s worse is how these guys are calling you crazy. You’re not crazy, I would feel the exact same!
However we do have to take things into consideration, for example the time period; how long do you talk to these guys before getting off the app? Is it a day? A week? The thing is, some guys (and girls) do need time- they get scared at the idea of things progressing quickly. I know you like to put all your eggs in one basket but one thing I would say is, don’t always expect things to go your way.
I was similar in that I used to always do this: I would talk to one guy I matched with him, think yeah he seems decent, get off the app- realise he wasn't the one and block him. Then I would try to speak to multiple guys at a time and realised I hated that too. With my husband things were different, I decided I wanted to take things slow with him, so I kept the app, just in case things didn’t work out, and there was still a guy I was (kind of) talking to on there. After our first few dates I realised I like him and uninstalled the app, I told him I was uninstalling and he did it too. I feel like when you slow down, things fall into place a lot more easily.
I think the next thing we need to talk about is intentions. First of all, I think there are always signs and red flags to look out for to see if a guy is actually series about marriage. We have some blogs on this topic:
But it’s pretty safe to say that if he’s still on the app talking to other girls after you’ve told him you’re serious about him and marriage, he’s probably not. The right guy who is serious about marriage would make the effort to get to know you, and his intentions would be clear. You wouldn't have to second guess them and wonder if they’re actually series...at least that’s what I’ve learnt from my experience anyways. I would say always trust your instincts, and if you feel he’s not a serious option, he probably isn't.
One final point- maybe this could also have something to do with the type of guys you usually go for? Ofcourse, I only know what you have sent me in the email, but if you do go for a certain type of guy, maybe that’s the reason they all seem to be like this. Try playing around with the filters, being more open minded to other guys, and see what happens. Inshallah your luck will change x
If you have any questions or need any advice, feel free to drop us an email at: [email protected]
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