7 Things You Can Do to Protect a Marriage During Crisis
September 13, 2023
Marriages are hard. While they're beautiful and rewarding, they can be quite a bumpy road for most couples. Married people have to invest a lot of energy and hard work into keeping their marriage happy and successful. But, sooner or later, every marriage falls into a crisis.
Whether it’s a minor argument or a major crisis, couples need to arm themselves with patience and understanding. If you’re not sure how to act in a marriage crisis, we’ve got you covered.
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Here are 7 things you can do to protect your marriage in crisis.
Table of Contents:
1) Forget About The Blame
If you’re in a marriage crisis and you start focusing on placing the blame on someone, you’re doomed. Nobody wants to be showered with criticism so you might as well rule out this option from the start.
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So, make sure that you forget all about:
Placing the blame
Calculating who’s more guilty
Measuring who’s invested more in the relationship
Blaming a single person for your marriage in crisis is the wrong thing to do. Instead, focus on the current situation and the moves you'll make from now on.
2) Communicate Openly
Open communication is the key to a balanced, strong marriage. This is something you should learn to practice from day one, and not just when you've got a marriage crisis.
This is why you need to communicate with your partner even more when the crisis hits you:
Share your thoughts, fears, and emotions
Ask for feedback
Encourage your partner to open up
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You can even create a routine out of this, and do a daily check-in with your partner.
Be as honest as possible, even if that includes sharing your deepest insecurities.
3) Respect Your Partner
Respect is another key ingredient to a successful marriage and you can’t go very far without it. Still, it’s not enough for you to just feel respect for your partner.
You have to show it.
Showing respect means:
Acknowledging their ideas
Honouring their contribution to the marriage
Telling them thank you
Giving them compliments
If you have respect for each other, you have what it takes to overcome your marriage crisis and leave it behind you.
4) Provide Space
During a marriage crisis, you have to work with your partner to figure it out. Still, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do some thinking on your own.
In fact, each partner must have space to:
Deal with their emotions
Process everything that’s happening
This is why you should allow each other some alone time during the day. This is yet another thing that needs to be communicated openly.
So, don’t just go out in the middle of the day without telling your partner where you’re going.
On the contrary, know each other’s alone time and support each other in dealing with your inner selves.
5) Change Environment
As a married couple, you spend most of your time in your house. Whether you’re with the kids or doing house chores, you’re there most of the time.
This means that your fights, disagreements, or crisis peaks happen in your home as well.
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When you're trying to overcome a marriage crisis and work on it with your partner, it's a good idea to change your environment. Leave your home and move your conversations elsewhere:
A walk along the riverside
A quiet coffee shop
Go someplace nice where you’ll feel more open for conversations and express your thoughts more freely.
6) Work on Intimacy
And, if you feel like you’re losing intimacy with your partner amidst the marriage crisis, make sure that you work on it:
Set up date nights
Work on courting
Touch each other more during the day
Experiment in the bedroom
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While you may think that intimacy is something that will simply come to you, we beg to differ. You have to work on intimacy and invest an effort into being close to your partner again.
7) Seek Out Counselling
Finally, if you feel like your marriage is slipping away and you and your partner can’t deal with it on your own, it’s time for counselling.
Couple therapy can be a lifesaver for those couples who can’t figure things out and need support outside of the relationship.
The sessions will provide:
A safe space for open conversations
A guided process of healing
A professional asking the right questions
Assignments to work on at home
With a couple's therapist, you'll be able to work on your marriage on a more serious level and give it everything you've got.
Marriage crises are tough but are not something you should sink into. On the contrary, you have to swim up, give your partner support, and receive their support with an open heart.
Use the tips listed above to protect your marriage in crisis. Use the tips that you feel can be applied to your current situation and fight for your marriage with everything you’ve got.
Author: Daniela McVicker
Daniela McVicker is a psychologist and family counsellor. Her passion is writing about leading a healthy family life and helping people enjoy their lives to the fullest.