Girls, it is time to make the first move
March 29, 2023
Recently we asked on a twitter poll “who should make the first move after matching?” Unsurprisingly, the overwhelming answer was that the man should. Even the option to not talk at all received more votes than women making the first move!
Ladies, remember, you can message first too!
I know there is always the fear of getting ghosted, or just the thought that you're opening line is not great. But surely it’s better to take control and start the conversation rather than sitting around after matching and wondering why he hasn’t messaged yet. Or wondering whether he will ever message. And then there's always the thought that maybe he swiped right accidentally and doesn't actually like you at all.
We do know how daunting it can be to send the first message, so here are our top tips to get the ball rolling:
1) Say Salam
You’re probably thinking “Duuh!”, but a lot of people do overthink what they should message first, and end up not saying anything at all! A simple Salaam with a little smiley emoji is fine to at least get the conversation started. Personalise it by adding their name too, so they know you have actually checked their profile.
2) Comment on his profile
Make sure you have read his bio properly, and find something to ask him about, or comment on, for example, if he says he’s a marvel fan, ask him which film is his favourite. It really is that easy. You can also look for something you both have in common, such as a love for food, and comment on that.
3) Drop him a compliment
Did you know that receiving a compliment activates the reward centres in the brain? In fact, Psychologists have even found that receiving a compliment can unlock the same levels of happiness that receiving money does!
So, what better way to kick of a conversation than by making your match super happy?! But beware not to go overboard with the compliment.
It doesn't even have to be appearance based, it could be linked to something on their bio… perhaps they have love to travel, you could say “wow! I love that you have an adventurous side”. Everyone likes to be seen and appreciated, and a little compliment definitely ensures that.
4) Ask him questions about himself
Again, make sure you have read his bio! Asking him questions about himself shows that you’re interested in him. You could ask him about his job, hobbies, his family etc.
5) Set out your intentions
This doesn’t have to be intense or full on. You don’t need to start a conversation by expressing that you want to marry him right away. It could just be something simple like “I like you’re profile and I’m interested in getting to know you”. It’s better to make your intentions known so you can really get something out of the conversation, rather than just talking aimlessly to find out the person doesn’t want anything serious. And hopefully they’ll be honest and tell you what they’re looking for too.
If he’s unimpressed that you messaged first, or he doesn’t reply…he clearly wasn’t worth it. Swipe right and find someone that will appreciate your effort and confidence!
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