How To Re-Enter Dating Scene without Burnout

“Dah ada calon ke belum?” or “Bila nak nikahnya?” or even “Makcik carikan calon untuk kamu ye?” – These would be some of the words that still linger in your mind. As you take your time to indulge in the lemang with rendang daging and Sunqick limau, these are the bullets that you have to take at the cost of the food.

You might be tired of the questions, but deep down, you have this feeling of tiredness. A burnout-like feeling stems from the fact that you have given your best, you invested your time, you tried to meet new people, yet nothing happened, and you are just still…. single

Muzz is here to help you tackle this! We assure you that this is not another article that talks about what you already know, but we give you an action plan that you can use immediately! Let’s go ~

First: Time For Some “Spring Cleaning”

Start by sitting with yourself to reflect on your past encounters. You probably have had multiple or at least a few times knowing someone before it became a ghosted relationship. Go to your Note App and list down all the “whys” that you can identify. It could be:

• “I settle too fast.”
• “I go too intensely too quickly.”
• “I don’t set my boundaries.”
• “I only prioritise this person to be funny and treat me to dinner.”

The list can be endless. When you analyze, make sure not to punish yourself, but instead, see it as you are collecting data of yourself. From the list you made, you then pick 3-5 non-negotiable things that you want. Make sure you are REALISTIC! If your non negotiable is to eat A5 wagyu on first meet then probably you will stay single longer.

Now, create another note and have all of your non-negotiable here. Make sure it is clear, written in a way you can understand, and realistic for you to have it.

Second: Invest Minimum Energy to Test Maximum Compatibility

Burnout happen when you go in 100% all enthusiastic and fiery until you encounter a hiccup, you go from 100 to zero (0). You will be changing your game this time so that you can avoid the burnout of meeting new people.

The list that you had in your note app, use that as a strategy this time. Set around 30 mins per day for you to allocate time to communicate with someone on Muzz. If you can tell that person to be online at certain hours so that you both can be present and talk.

Try not to do it excessive as it will lead to you creating an idea of that person in your mind and start imagining yourself talking to someone with YOUR vision – this is the trap that almost everyone get into. Know someone for who they are and not the version of them that you have in mind.

Third: Bring the Online to Offline

We always encourage our users to meet the person that they are talking to within the first two (2) of their communication. If you are female, do let the guy know that you expect him to set a place for both of you to meet. If you are a guy, be direct, straightforward, and invite the lady out for lunch or dinner.

An important note is for both of you to be comfortable meeting in real life, respectful towards each other’s boundaries, and to meet at a public place. Ask light questions and build up the conversation as you go.

Don’t really know how to start conversations? Muzz got you covered! Scroll through your Muzz app > Filter > Scroll through each section. We crafted it to be a perfect Ice Breakers for you to know someone just the first time you meet them.

Once you are done, be open to whatever happens. If that person doesn’t fit your criteria, you can find the next one. If you feel that person has potential, then explore together. Remember that this is a journey and you will find “The One’ when the time is right.