Tempat orang Muslim bertemu

If you have been in a dating scene, you would know that it is very common for men and women to have a push-pull internal conflict on the first date. The men would have thought of having to plan for a perfect first date, or else they will be perceived as a low effort man. Women, on the other hand, would run all worst-case scenarios in their head and end up being cautious about their safety, the vibe, and “is he the one?”

We get it, the first date can be overwhelming. You tend to hold to the idea that first impressions matter without realizing that you are exhausting yourself. If that very date didn’t work out, you will get devastated, ghost everyone, and complain about being single, for the 100th time.

This time around, let’s change up that strategy. We crafted a 5-step process for you to go out on a date that is low-pressure but not low-effort. Make sure to try this on your upcoming date!

1. Pick A Cozy Place

This is by far one of the simplest things you can do, but almost everyone doesn’t pay attention to this. The place where you meet someone sets the tone and mood for the conversation. Choose the cafe that will help the process of getting to know someone. If you want quiet and cosy, find home-based cafes that usually lesser crowd, that allows you to talk without noise disruption. If you feel the need to do something while chatting, find cafes that provide board games to help you feel less awkward.

You can do this by search the cafe on TikTok and see which cafes will help you to carry the conversation the best.

2. Walk The Talk, Literally

We get it, sitting in a restaurant or cafe isn`t for everyone. The moment you sit in front of the person you are meeting, the anxiety creeps in, and suddenly your brain goes blank. For those of you who have this issue, combine the talking part with an activity. The simplest way to do this is to grab a light food & drinks and walk around any park. The movement will help regulate your nervousness, and suddenly the conversation flows naturally.

Plus point to this is that you can witness humans with all kinds of behaviors in the park. You ran out of ideas to talk? Use anything that you saw and create a conversation out of it.

3. Prepare 3-5 Backup Topics

As this is the first date, you don`t have any information about this person. The possibilities of asking questions are endless at this stage. At times, you overthink about questions you want to ask, and you end up not asking. This is when you can use AI to help you.

Instead of asking ChatGPT “what are the red flags of men on a first date”, how bout you tweak the prompt and ask “Hi ChatGPT, what are the questions that I can ask on my first date?”. That simple switch opens up limitless opportunities for you.

4. Dress Code

This is an interesting dynamic that both genders would need to play their role equally. Men are simple creature, where a t-shirt and jeans suffices them for a first date. Women, on the other hand, want to put on their best dress and judge men by their outfit.

It is unfair for men to be judged solely by their attire and for women to expect men to dress up the way they want them to. Instead, just inform them of the dress code when deciding on the first date. This way, men get a fair share to dress themselves and the women don`t have to be stressed over the men’s attire.

5. Follow Up After

Not all first dates will get to a second date, and that is fine! The purpose of the first date is for you to get to know each other. That awkward moment, not knowing what to ask, and being in character will let you know the vibe of the relationship. Let’s be real, vibe is something you can`t get through chat, and you can only feel the vibe once you meet that person. If you don`t vibe, thank them and part ways. If you vibe, compliment them, and plan for the next date.

As part of safety measures, Muzz encourages you to have the conversation from planning the date up to following up in the app itself. We have 24 hours community team who are always there to respond to any mischievous or ill-intentioned behaviours. Once the conversation gets outside of the Muzz app, our community team wouldn`t be able to help you, as we have no evidence of the conversations that happen in the other app.

Be open, have fun, keep the conversation in the Muzz app, and share with us how your first date went!

Malaysians are known for their “-lah” at the end of every sentence – “can lah” “jom lah” “see first lah”. Honestly, that’s just what makes us different from others, right? There are also other things that Malaysians are known for, and one of them is starting conversations with “dah makan ke?”. This is deeply rooted from our culture that is rich in food, which then indirectly became our norm.

While that is something for us to uphold, imagine being on a dating app where you are committed to finding your future spouse, and the question you get asked is “dah makan ke?”. To make it worse, imagine matching with five (5) individuals and all of them asked “dah makan ke?”… We can understand why those individuals were ghosted.

Worry not, Muzz is here to help you move away from that generic conversation starter to actually asking a great question to start a conversation… Let’s go!

Be Kepoh and SCAN!

Malaysians are known to be kepoh, kan? This is the perfect time for you to channel your inner kepoh-ness before starting any conversation. While you are browsing through profiles on Muzz, there will be different section that tells about a profile:

My Faith: This section tells about someone’s Islamic practices and generalized akhlak Future Plans: This section tells you about the values they approve or oppose Interest: This section tells you everything that got their attention (good place to start) Personality: This section tells you about their overall character in person Language & Ethnicity: This section says about their culture & the back story of their family

Other than someone’s profile pictures being handsome or pretty, there must be something in this section that caught your eye, which led you to like the profile. Pick any one of the categories that you feel you are curious about and start asking about it. The list is endless, seriously. All you have to do is pick one that you have a similar interest with or are curious about the person you are chatting with, and ask.

Share Your Experience, Unapologetically

Phase one is done, where you ask questions about them. Let’s get to phase two, which is to tell about yourself. If you pick any conversations that are also your interest, this is where you start sharing your part of the experience. Fair warning, DO NOT SAY “same with me” and you end the conversation.

If this person you are talking to wants to know you, s/he must be equally excited to know about your life experience. Start quoting anything that was mentioned by the other party and insert your experience. If you can`t relate to them? Just say that you can`t relate and share your experience.

You would be surprised how the same topic could lead to a meaningful conversation THAT IS NOT BORING.

Bait For Opinion

Humans love to share their opinions, especially on things that they have a strong interest in or things they dislike. Make the conversation interesting by inviting them to take a stance on a topic. This could be a current local topic, a global interest topic, or look through their profile again and get their stance on one of those things.  

Best believe you will get to know their personality and mindset, which can be used to see whether this person is compatible with you or not.

Online dating gets hate for being a place for those who are into pretty & handsome profile pictures only. While having a good quality profile is important, your ability to carry on a conversation is what makes it or breaks it in the relationship.

Make sure to be curious, have fun while knowing someone new, and always be respectful towards everyone!

“Dah ada calon ke belum?” or “Bila nak nikahnya?” or even “Makcik carikan calon untuk kamu ye?” – These would be some of the words that still linger in your mind. As you take your time to indulge in the lemang with rendang daging and Sunqick limau, these are the bullets that you have to take at the cost of the food.

You might be tired of the questions, but deep down, you have this feeling of tiredness. A burnout-like feeling stems from the fact that you have given your best, you invested your time, you tried to meet new people, yet nothing happened, and you are just still…. single

Muzz is here to help you tackle this! We assure you that this is not another article that talks about what you already know, but we give you an action plan that you can use immediately! Let’s go ~

First: Time For Some “Spring Cleaning”

Start by sitting with yourself to reflect on your past encounters. You probably have had multiple or at least a few times knowing someone before it became a ghosted relationship. Go to your Note App and list down all the “whys” that you can identify. It could be:

“I settle too fast.” “I go too intensely too quickly.” “I don’t set my boundaries.” “I only prioritise this person to be funny and treat me to dinner.”

The list can be endless. When you analyze, make sure not to punish yourself, but instead, see it as you are collecting data of yourself. From the list you made, you then pick 3-5 non-negotiable things that you want. Make sure you are REALISTIC! If your non negotiable is to eat A5 wagyu on first meet then probably you will stay single longer.

Now, create another note and have all of your non-negotiable here. Make sure it is clear, written in a way you can understand, and realistic for you to have it.

Second: Invest Minimum Energy to Test Maximum Compatibility

Burnout happen when you go in 100% all enthusiastic and fiery until you encounter a hiccup, you go from 100 to zero (0). You will be changing your game this time so that you can avoid the burnout of meeting new people.

The list that you had in your note app, use that as a strategy this time. Set around 30 mins per day for you to allocate time to communicate with someone on Muzz. If you can tell that person to be online at certain hours so that you both can be present and talk.

Try not to do it excessive as it will lead to you creating an idea of that person in your mind and start imagining yourself talking to someone with YOUR vision – this is the trap that almost everyone get into. Know someone for who they are and not the version of them that you have in mind.

Third: Bring the Online to Offline

We always encourage our users to meet the person that they are talking to within the first two (2) of their communication. If you are female, do let the guy know that you expect him to set a place for both of you to meet. If you are a guy, be direct, straightforward, and invite the lady out for lunch or dinner.

An important note is for both of you to be comfortable meeting in real life, respectful towards each other’s boundaries, and to meet at a public place. Ask light questions and build up the conversation as you go.

Don’t really know how to start conversations? Muzz got you covered! Scroll through your Muzz app > Filter > Scroll through each section. We crafted it to be a perfect Ice Breakers for you to know someone just the first time you meet them.

Once you are done, be open to whatever happens. If that person doesn’t fit your criteria, you can find the next one. If you feel that person has potential, then explore together. Remember that this is a journey and you will find “The One’ when the time is right.