September 12, 2023
Once upon a time a term used for indecisive shoppers teasing retailers with false hope now commonly used in the ever growing ‘matrimonial market’.What makes for a ‘matrimonial window shopper’ and more so how aware are these individuals of the moral discourse that they embark on.You don’t have to be in the slightest bit Islamically inclined or aware to realise that when considering an individual for marriage it should be done with certain ettiquetes and respect. One of the greatest signs of respect is to give an individual your undivided attention during the course of your interaction, whether that be just one meeting or several in order for you to decide how you wish to proceed further.
A little distasteful as it may be, the process of searching for a spouse is often likened to ‘halal’ dating. However it would seem the rules are even more lax to conventional dating when it comes to being faithful.Why is it unfaithful if a person dating another in the western culture considers someone else; but if a person considering someone for marriage in Islamic terms looks elsewhere and considers more than one person at a time, it is merely considered as ‘keeping your options open’.Surely our moral compass should be far better calibrated?
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“Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity” (Quran 24:26)
It is widely accepted that when considering someone for marriage you give that person full and due attention, and if you wish to not proceed with matters you inform them of your intentions and then move on to considering the next person.Lack of time, choice and the ever growing world of social networking seems to have blurred the edges of the moral framework within which we should be moving.The more choice we have the fussier we seem to become. Just as the window shopper considers all his options to compare and decide on the cheapest and most viable product. The matrimonial process has in many cases reduced to the same process where individuals are compared against eachother based on a profile specification, with little consideration for the character and personality behind the age, height, weight, income… The numbers just go on and on.
“Marry for four reasons: Wealth, lineage, beauty and Deen (character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character for this will make you prosper” (Bukhari&Muslim)
Use the tool of knowledge to carve and chisel a character that exemplifies a beauty you desire in a spouse…Surely nothing can radiate more class, elegance and beauty than a character of high moral fortitude.