Dear Muzz: How Do I Ask About His Divorce?
May 15, 2023
The agony aunties are back to answer more of your pressing questions!
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and Muzz, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On Muzz has, you guessed it, actually found love on Muzz. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
I am currently speaking to a guy who I am really getting on with, for the first time on this app I feel I have met someone who is so similar to me as well as respectful. Our conversations are fun and interesting, and we also talk about the things that really matter to us as individuals and Muslims. It’s still early days and I am still getting to know him, but so far there are no red flags, Alhamdulillah.
My only concern is this: how do I approach the topic of asking him about his divorce in a polite way? Divorce is not a deal breaker for me as everyone’s situation is different, but I don’t know how to start what could be a painful discussion, and at the same time I feel I deserve to know so I can make a decision for myself whether it’s worth continuing.
Found Love On Muzz Replies:
Salam, it’s so lovely to hear that you’ve found someone you like on Muzz!
Divorce is definitely something difficult to bring up, especially as it must’ve been a very hard thing to go through, and it could be a sensitive topic he doesn’t want to discuss. I think the best way for you to approach this is to be honest, tell him you would like to talk about his divorce and what happened. Maybe ease him into it by opening up about an experience that you’ve been through so he’ll feel more comfortable in sharing.
However, don’t force this conversation, if he clams up and doesn’t want to discuss it, then leave it for now, sometimes these conversations do take time, and he may not want to share this information until he completely trusts you. It’s definitely a hard situation to be in. Some things you can ask to ease your way into the conversation could include: when did he go through the divorce, and does he think he’s ready for marriage again. Those are very valid questions when getting to know someone for marriage.
Good luck and hope this helps!
Kissed A Few Frogs Replies:
Salaam! Congratulations for finding someone who you think might be the one, that’s so exciting!
I feel like lots of people have been in your situation before - perhaps not specifically about divorce, but there are always questions we have for the people we’re getting to know that we think might be a bit too personal too soon. But if you’re getting to know someone with the intention of getting married (as most people are on Muzz!) then there's no shame in asking him about his divorce. My advice would be to start off the conversation talking about yourself first and your past. It’ll hopefully help make him feel more comfortable to open up when he sees that you’re also willing to share details. Just make sure to be respectful, not judgmental in any way and inshallah he’ll respond well and share his life with you.
Best of luck!
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