Dear Muzz: What's Wrong With Ghosting?! We All Do It!
May 16, 2023
The agony aunties are back to answer more of your pressing questions!
The two aunties answering your questions today have an acclaimed wealth of knowledge on dating and Muzz, as they have both been on the app. Found Love On Muzz has, you guessed it, actually found love on Muzz. While Kissed A Few Frogs has acquired a great amount of insight into red flags and relationship Dos and Don'ts from her own experiences of dealing with all the f***boys.
Disclaimer: Their responses are just their opinions, so follow it at your own risk!
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I’m not asking you for advice, just pointing something out. I see you doing a lot of these blogs about how ghosting is bad, and how us ghosters are horrible, terrible people. Even an IG Live. But please, everyone has ghosted at least once in their lives. I mean, sometimes it really is the easiest way to reject someone without hurting their feelings, in my opinion anyway.
Found love On Muzz Says:
Ok, I will admit that we’ve probably all done our fair share of ghosting in the past, in fact, apparently 80% of millennials have been ghosted. But that’s not something we should be proud of.
I think most people would much rather be let down easily rather than being ghosted, at least then they know what went wrong, rather than just constantly thinking “what did I do? Was it something I said? Am I just ugly?”. Unfortunately ghosting can lead to serious insecurities. From the sounds of what you’re saying, you don’t want to hurt someone, so here’s what you can do rather than ghosting them:
Be honest and tell them you’re not interested. If they ask why, just tell them you can’t see yourself with them and that you don’t want to waste their time. Simple.
Still be honest, but soften the blow, say something along the lines of “Thank you so much for allowing me to get to know you, I really appreciate the chance and you’re a lovely person, but I just can’t see this going anywhere in the future. Best of luck!”
Literally. It can be that simple. And it’s so much better than just disappearing on someone. Ghosting someone just indicates that you don’t respect them, and honestly, that you’re a coward and take the easy route out (I’ve ghosted before- and yes I was a coward when I did so). 2020 has already been hard enough, lets just show a little compassion and caring towards one another.
Kissed A Few Frogs says:
So I mean, you’re not wrong - most people have ghosted or been ghosted, it’s something that just unfortunately happens these days. With the boom of technology and online apps, it makes it easier to stay anonymous. And that anonymity breeds bad behaviour, because you don’t feel the consequences as deeply.
But I really want to stress to everyone who has ghosted before - there are real people on the other end of the phone. People who may really like you or enjoy talking to you. So for you to suddenly disappear, with no warning or message is just a really selfish thing to do.
It can be as simple as saying ‘Hey, I’ve really enjoyed chatting to you, but I just don’t feel a connection. Best of luck in your search for a partner’. That literally took me 5 seconds to type out, so you can do it too! Or just copy and paste ;)
And to anyone out there who has been ghosted, I feel your pain. It can be an awful thing to experience, because it leaves you wondering if it's something you did and questioning what’s wrong with you. But believe me, there is nothing wrong! Your perfect match is out there, you just gotta get through the wrong ones first to find them.
If you have any questions or need any advice, feel free to drop us an email at: [email protected] 💌