Where Muslims meet

We spoke with Sauda Husna Imam during London Fashion Week 2025, to unpack how fashion and culture influence the way Muslims view love, relationships and marriages today. Sauda is a multidisciplinary designer and Royal College of Arts graduate who specialises in bridal wear, printmaking and handwoven textiles, with her design practice sitting at the intersection of fashion and interior. She weaves narratives of cultural heritage and contemporary design, being both a storyteller and proud British Nigerian creative.

How do you see Islamic values around modesty influencing how Muslims express attraction and identity in relationships today?

When I think about faith and fashion, I’m reminded of my mother’s wedding outfits in the 90s. Many of the styles she chose were the West African Boubou. The Boubou aligned perfectly with modesty and cultural identity. What I find powerful is how the style both conceals and reveals: it allowed brides to embody Islamic values of modesty while still being elegant and fashion-forward.

For Muslim women, fashion has always been more than aesthetics – it’s a way to negotiate faith, culture, and self-expression. In relationships, modest fashion can be deeply alluring. Attraction isn’t erased by modesty; it’s reshaped. It shifts from revealing everything to leaving something to the imagination, which makes it more intentional, dignified and layered.

For Muslims balancing both Western and Islamic identities, how does fashion become a bridge (or barrier) when it comes to finding a partner?

This has always been the heart of my own journey. I see myself as a cultural hybrid: Nigerian, British, and Muslim. It’s a beautiful thing to draw from all these different parts of yourself. My grandmother, for instance, was the wife of a diplomat. She moved across the world, yet her one constant was fashion. It was her way of carrying ‘home’ with her, wherever she went. For me, that’s what fashion does: it becomes the bridge that allows Muslims balancing Western and Islamic identities to show who they are.

When it comes to finding a partner, that bridge can be powerful. Fashion communicates values instantly – someone may see your style and recognise the balance you’re striking between faith and modernity. It can attract a partner who appreciates that duality. But it can also be a barrier when it’s misinterpreted: abayas may be seen as ‘too traditional,’ while Western-leaning styles as ‘too liberal.’ In reality, fashion is one of the ways Muslims express nuance in identity. The right partner will see that as a celebration of who you are.

Do you think seeing modest fashion on mainstream platforms has changed how Muslims view themselves as ‘desirable’ in love?

Representation matters so much. Growing up, I didn’t see modest fashion in the mainstream. In fact, I felt the opposite – restriction. My mum would make me wear long sleeves under t-shirts, my dad was the family fashion police, and in northern Nigeria where I grew up, the society was very traditional. There weren’t any modest fashion ‘girlies’ online to look up to because the influencer space didn’t even exist then. Because of that, it was easy to feel like modesty and desirability couldn’t coexist. But now, seeing modest fashion celebrated on global platforms completely changes the narrative. It shows young Muslims that you don’t have to compromise your faith to feel beautiful, stylish or desirable. The next generation can be themselves fully, without editing out parts of their identity to be loved.

In your experience, how does embracing faith-inspired fashion challenge the stereotypes non-Muslims (and sometimes Muslims) have about love and relationships in our communities?

Faith-inspired fashion often gets boxed into stereotypes – that it’s oppressive, outdated, or somehow incompatible with romance. In western media, we’ve all seen the trope: a hijabi character finally gets a love interest, and the first thing that happens is the hijab comes off. As if faith and love can’t exist side by side. That narrative is so limiting and it tells young Muslims that desirability requires compromise.

My experience has been the opposite. Embracing modest fashion has shown me how much strength and confidence there is in expressing identity through faith. For non-Muslims, seeing modest fashion worn unapologetically challenges the idea that Muslim women are voiceless in relationships. And for Muslims, it pushes back against the belief that you have to water down your faith to be seen as modern or desirable. The truth is, modesty and love aren’t at odds. They can and always have, gone hand in hand.

Can fashion empower Muslims to feel authentic in their faith and culture while still being open to love in a modern context?

For me, living in London as a Nigerian Muslim has been a huge part of this journey. At first, I felt weird standing out – my clothes, my faith, my culture. Over time I decided to lean into it rather than shy away. I went on a journey of unapologetic growth, embracing all of it and that gave me a confidence people actually found attractive.

Ironically, it was living in the West that made me appreciate my Muslim and Nigerian identities even more. Fashion became the way I expressed that – blending modesty with individuality, tradition with modernity. It allowed me to show up fully as myself, and I think that’s what makes you open to love in a modern context. When you’re authentic, you invite the kind of love that sees you for who you really are.

How do you see young Muslims negotiating between cultural wedding traditions, Islamic values, and modern fashion aesthetics when it comes to love and marriage?

I see many young Muslims wanting to honour tradition, stay true to Islamic values, and still feel in the times. Weddings really capture this push and pull. On one hand, there are cultural expectations – the fabrics, the silhouettes, the ceremonies passed down through generations. On the other, there’s the influence of global fashion trends and social media, which set a completely different standard for beauty and style.

What I find inspiring is how creative young Muslims have become in merging the two. I call my Naija girlies ‘Afropolitan Brides’ – women of African heritage with a cosmopolitan identity, tied to multiple places and cultures, who confidently draw from both worlds. You’ll see brides wearing traditional textiles such as Adiré or Aso Oke in contemporary cuts. Even my mum celebrated her cultural hybridity at her wedding by wearing European lace sewn into a Boubou style. It’s not about choosing one over the other, but about merging faith and culture to create an authentic style. For me, that’s what love and marriage are really about: finding harmony between values, heritage, and self-expression.

Nigerian weddings are famous for being big, bold, and beautifully styled. How has that influenced the way you see fashion’s role in love and marriage?

The fabrics at Nigerian weddings all carry meaning. They communicate your tribe, your family’s story, and your place in the celebration. The colours are intentional, chosen to symbolise joy, unity, or heritage. Even the guests wear aso ebi (matching fabrics) to show belonging – one side for the bride, one side for the groom. It honours the past while marking the beginning of the couple’s future. Growing up around that shaped how I see fashion’s role in love and marriage. Everything is intentional. It’s never just about aesthetics; it’s about using cloth to tell a story of identity, love, and community.

Nigerian fashion is so tied to identity. How do you carry that cultural pride into how you think about Muslim relationships in the West?

For Nigerians, fashion is identity. Our ancestors wore cloth that told tales of where they came from before they even spoke. Growing up with that taught me that what you wear isn’t just surface; it’s tied to belonging and legacy. Carrying that into my life in the West has shaped how I think about Muslim relationships here. It’s reminded me that you don’t have to water yourself down to be accepted or loved.

In fact, the more I leaned into my Nigerian and Muslim identities, the more confident I became – and that confidence is attractive in itself. Fashion became the tool that helped me merge those layers, blending faith, culture, and individuality. For me, it’s proof that you can be fully yourself (Nigerian, Muslim, Western) and the right partner will see the beauty in loving all those parts of you.

Nigerian culture celebrates colour, community, and tradition in weddings. How has that shaped your own ideas of what a Muslim marriage should look and feel like?

I’ve always felt like Nigerian weddings are more culture than faith – a lot of the aspects are tied to tradition rather than religion. But to me, that’s what makes Muslim marriage so beautiful: it’s accommodating. It doesn’t matter where you come from, your culture can sit alongside your faith. At the end of the day, it’s about love, family, legacy, and belonging.

Growing up around big Nigerian weddings showed me that while the details might look different across cultures, the essence is the same. Muslim marriage makes space for that diversity while grounding it in shared values. That’s what makes it so universal.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give Muslims about staying authentic to their faith and culture when presenting themselves to search for a partner?

My advice would be to stay true to who you are. Don’t present a watered-down version of yourself just to seem more desirable. Your faith and culture are not barriers – they’re a bridge. When you carry yourself with that clarity, you invite the kind of love that feels like home. The right partner won’t just love fragments of you, they’ll love every piece, because together those pieces are what make you whole.

Finding a partner, marriage, and everything in between can feel like a balancing act, especially for Muslims who are constantly navigating cultural expectations and personal goals. On one hand, there’s the never-ending question from family members: “Why aren’t you married yet?”. On the other hand, there’s the nervous anticipation of meeting someone for the first time after weeks or months of messaging on the app.

Both situations can stir up anxiety, but the truth is: you’re not alone, and there are healthy ways to handle both family pressure around marriage and first date nerves.

In this guide, we’ll break down:

How to deal with relatives asking about your marriage timeline Why there’s no “right age” to get married How to protect your mental health when family expectations feel heavy Tips for handling a first date after talking on the app The right questions to ask on a first date to check compatibility When The Family Asks Why You’re Not Married…Yet Family Pressure and the “Right Age” Myth

For both Muslim men and women, marriage questions start early. By the time you hit your mid-20s, you’ve probably heard:

“So, when is it your turn?” “You’re not getting any younger.” “We just want to see you settled.”

But here’s the truth: there is no specific age when you “should” be married. Everyone’s journey is different, and marriage is too big a step to rush into just because your parents or aunties and uncles keep bringing it up.

Why Delaying Marriage Can Be a Healthy Choice

Instead of worrying about being “only 26” or “already 30,” focus on what you want to achieve. Maybe you’re working on your career, studying, traveling, or simply figuring yourself out. Those are all valid reasons to wait.

Entering a lifelong partnership without reaching your personal goals can lead to resentment later. And resentment doesn’t make a strong marriage.

Protecting Your Mental Health From Expectations

Family questions can come from a place of love, but they can also trigger stress, guilt, or shame. To protect your mental health:

Set gentle boundaries: It’s okay to politely redirect or say you’re not ready to discuss it. Remind yourself: Their timeline is not your timeline. Stay open-minded: Being open to marriage doesn’t mean rushing into it; it just means being emotionally and mentally available when the right person comes.

At the end of the day, your marriage journey is deeply personal. Don’t let cultural noise drown out your inner voice.

Nervous About a First Date After Talking on the App? You’re Not Alone. Why First Dates Feel So Intense

You’ve been messaging someone on the app for weeks, or maybe even months. The chats flow easily, the jokes land, and it feels like there’s a spark. But now, it’s time to meet face-to-face, and suddenly your palms are sweaty.

It’s normal. A first date, especially after online talking, comes with questions:

What if they’re different in person? What if we don’t click? What do I even say?

The good news: there are strategies to calm your nerves and make the most of it.

Be Honest, Open, and Yourself

The best first date advice? Don’t perform. You don’t need to impress them with a perfect version of yourself. Instead:

Speak honestly about who you are. Share your values and interests. Don’t avoid important conversations.

Pretending to be someone you’re not only wastes both your time and theirs.

Ask the “Tough Questions” Early

Yes, small talk can help break the ice. But if you’ve already been talking online for a while, it’s better to ask deeper questions sooner rather than later. Think:

What are your long-term goals? How important is faith in your life? What do you want marriage to look like for you?

These aren’t “too much” questions, they’re smart questions. They help you figure out if you’re compatible or if it’s best to move on.

Pay Attention to How You Feel

Compatibility isn’t just about answers, it’s about energy. Notice:

Do you feel comfortable and safe around them? Do their actions match their words? Do you feel respected and listened to?

Sometimes the gut feeling is the clearest answer of all.

Finding Balance: Your Timeline, Your Journey

Whether you’re fending off family comments about your single status or nervously walking into a first date, the central message is the same: trust yourself. You don’t owe anyone a rushed marriage. You don’t need to go on dates pretending to be someone you’re not. You do deserve to pursue your goals, protect your mental health, and wait for a relationship that feels right.

Marriage is a huge step, and so are the choices leading up to it. There’s no formula, no deadline, and no one-size-fits-all journey. Your timeline is yours and perfectly written by Allah SWT, and that’s more than enough.

Every September, East & South East Asian (ESEA) Heritage Month shines a spotlight on the rich cultures, traditions, and stories of communities that too often go overlooked. For Muslims, it’s also a reminder that Islam is not limited to the Middle East or South Asia. In fact, it has been deeply rooted in East and South East Asia for over a thousand years.

From the Hui Muslims of China, to the vibrant Muslim-majority nations of Indonesia and Malaysia, and minority communities in the Philippines, Thailand, Japan, and Korea. Islam has quietly shaped love, family, and marriage across the region. Muslim identity in the ESEA is layered, diverse, and built on centuries of intercultural connection.

China: The Silk Road Origin

Islam first arrived in China when Arab and Persian traders traveled along the Silk Road. Many of them settled and married into local Chinese communities, raising families that blended Chinese heritage with Islamic faith. Their descendants became known as the Hui Muslims, one of the largest Muslim groups in China today. Hui Muslim marriages beautifully reflect this dual identity.

For the Hui, love and family are places where cultures meet. Their traditions show how Islam adapted, reminding us that Muslim love stories can flourish anywhere.

Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore: Where Faith Meets Tradition

If China’s Hui Muslims represent Islam’s early presence in East Asia, Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore highlight how Islam blossomed into majority faiths that still honour cultural diversity. In Indonesia, the world’s largest Muslim-majority nation, is a tapestry of traditions. A Javanese wedding might feature the akad nikah (Islamic vows) alongside the siraman ritual, a pre-Islamic cleansing ceremony symbolising purity and blessings.

In Malaysia, Islamic rites like Quran recitation are woven together with the bersanding ceremony, where the couple sits on a beautifully decorated platform. Singapore, though a minority-Muslim nation, has long been a cultural bridge between Malay, Indian, and Chinese communities. Malay-Muslim weddings are vibrant affairs, often hosted in community halls. They combine the sacred akad nikah with lively cultural traditions that reflect the city-state’s diverse identity.

These customs show how Southeast Asian Muslims embraced Islam without abandoning their heritage. Instead, marriage became the space where both faith and culture were celebrated equally.

Philippines and Thailand: Pride in Minority Muslim Communities

In countries where Muslims are minorities, love and marriage take on a powerful dimension of cultural pride. In the Philippines, weddings often involve elaborate family introductions and community celebrations, reflecting both Islamic values of respect and the Filipino emphasis on family. In Southern Thailand, Muslim weddings weave Malay-Islamic customs with Thai aesthetics, resulting in ceremonies that are distinctly local yet fully Islamic.

For these communities, marriage is more than personal. it’s a way of affirming identity in spaces where being Muslim is not the majority experience.

Japan and Korea: Small in Numbers, Strong in Faith

While Muslims in Japan and Korea are small in number, their presence is growing, particularly through reverts who discover Islam later in life. In Japan, Islam first arrived through trade and migration, but today most Muslims are part of the diaspora or are Japanese reverts. Marriages often highlight this intercultural blending, and for many Japanese reverts, marriage becomes both a spiritual commitment and a bridge between two worlds. In South Korea, the Muslim population is also small but increasing. Many Koreans encounter Islam through travel, study abroad, or marriage to Muslim spouses. Nikah ceremonies often emphasise simplicity, while receptions reflect Korean traditions of honouring elders and community.

For Japanese and Korean Muslims, every marriage is a testament to resilience, showing that love and faith can thrive even in places where Islam is little understood.

Why ESEA Heritage Month Matters for Muslims

For many Muslims in the ESEA diaspora, love and marriage today remain a balancing act: how do you honour cultural heritage while practising Islamic values? Weddings often become the stage where this balance is celebrated. These modern love stories are proof that Muslim identity thrive when cultures connect.

Islam’s story in East & South East Asia is about the spirit of connection and keeping faith alive while sticking to roots. This ESEA Heritage Month, honouring Muslim communities means celebrating love stories that emerged within these regions, and carried throughout generations.